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March 04, 2009

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Romina Yrrazabal

Everything you say is true!! I am from Argentina, living in Spain now, and even though our culture is similar to the Spanish one, men are really different. The only thing I miss about Argentine men is that they are not shy at all, and they have no problem to approach you. But that's it. However, here I met an American guy who took me to the stars, and though we are not together right now, he is the sweetest man I've ever met. So sensitive, so intelligent, he treated me like an equal, and we were very much in love. I loved dating an American, and you know what? I want to repeat that experience! ;)

Carolyn Lindsay

this question is to Marie. You say your lover "Claudio";? It did not happen to be "Claudio Alfaro" did it ? LOL. I know , I know, there are a lot of Claudios in argentina, But this sounds so much like the guy that I am on and off with now. His full name was "claudio alfaro rojas". lol

Ascaben

Wow this is very alarming to read.... In May I started up with a man from Argentina....

What to do, when all that is writen in here ,at least the I love you, soulmate, marriage proposals, etc, is like reading my own story. Am I an idiot for believing in all this? Should I stop it here and now?

Clarisa

I realized something was wrong in the way men relate to us back home (Argentina) while in high school. Argentine boys are hypercritical of women's looks no master how short, stocky, hairy or big nosed theymay be. My joke was why instead of beauty pageants don't we run male beauty contests, with the men in underwear. Of course Argentine men would never subject themselves to such indignity. But for women all kind of indignity is culturally expected.

cat

It's so rough when they start to grow up. But mine hit a cldudy phase again after the novelty of the run-around phase wore off, so hang in there! Hopefully your little guy will too!

Cricenolre

It just psiess me off reading their version of what a good wife should be.Luckily yours made up for it and had me laughing before 8am now thats a miracle!

Tracy Johnson


Hi Sandy
Sorry this happened to you. If everything happens to us as a learning experience, then relationships with Argentine men are a PhD. One male commenter here said we were behaving as idiots - he meant that he couldnt understand why we accepted this behaviour. I think it shows that love is not passion and it isnt instant and when a man behaves as though you are too goof (sorry, good) to be true, you are. Hes not seeing the real you, like Narcissus he sees only his reflection in you.

Sandy

Hi, Im Sandy. I just want to share my experiece with my mistaken "prince"

I went to Argetina, and met this guy named Claudio. He was totally sweet, caring and loving.We dated for months and became couples easily (I must admit I was an IDIOT, a total idiot that time), I knew nothing about Argies. But my friends used to tell me they play different games of cheating.And so as usual I never tried to listen,I never thought of him being that. I was really willing to prove to them they were wrong, because I really believe he love me. So everyday, he says sweet compliments that I never heard when I was in New York.Things went really smoothly for 5 months or so. I was madly in-love and was so sure he is the one.
I went home to New York for awhile to arrange my papers,and was really excited to be back in Argentina again to see him. I even told my friends about it, they never lack of reminding me about Argies. I keep in telling them "you'll see". And so I went back in Argentina, he told me he wasnt really in-love at me,that I wasnt the girl he was looking for.that I wasnt one of his priorities. Hearing those words, hurted me a lot.I felt like running away from him.
He said he was truly sorry, and I know his sorry wont change anything.

The pain is still here, but have forgiven him. I just cant believe how he could hurt A GIRL like me. Hell, anyway it is his lost i think.

Im not saying that you shouldnt love Argies,maybe thats how they love women. They dont want commitments because they only love theirselves.I dont regret the moment I met him, I just wished I had time to listen to my friends and not believe my own interests...

Thats it.

moncler norway

Love those! I enjoy following your posts on facebook and rss!

Tracy Johnson

Oh God Marie, what a sad sad story - again. You know if this blog had been around 17 years ago you probably wouldnt have listened. We always hope and dream it will be different for us. I agree - what is so horrible is the inability to be honest. Not so much the cheating (although of course thats rotten) but the bare-faced lying along with the cheating. And Argentines seem to have the amazing ability to drop the love of their life without a second thought. I live on a property with a woman who was married sixteen years and he left without talking it through, only to start yet another family with a younger girl from the pueblo. For her too it was the lying and lack of communication that hurt most. Why they are so cruel as to disappear without a word, without an explanation or a goodbye, I just dont know. Its inhumane especially to someone you once claimed to love so much. I still think love means nothing to many. However I think that we have to rise through it. What I mean is, dont let him ruin your life Marie. People may tell you that you will get over it in time - Perhaps you wont. I believe there are some hurts so deep you never really recover. But you have to keep going forward. Guard your heart but dont close it.
A man made a comment to this blog that we women falling for this are stupid. At the time I thought this a bit harsh but I see where hes going. It is our choice to fall for the passion, the promises, the adoration. Because we need that. But for centuries (Casanova, Lord Byron) its been the same - women driven insane by the lies of men. We have to get past this need for adoration.
In all my travels around South America - every country - I have been told the same thing. That Latino men will not be alone. They may be miserable but they will wait for a replacement. If you are apart from a Latino man, your relationship is pretty sure to break because of this. They cant live without a woman.
For you personally, just let yourself be hurt but everytime you feel rotten, tell yourself its Okay, you have suffered but you will come through. Dont let him destroy your life and trust. Think of love and believe in it but meanwhile be very loving to yourself. Besos.

marie

Wish this blog was here years ago. I married an Argentine man. It was passionate but painful. I slowly changed through the course of our marriage to become someone that could deal with his mood swings, his "superiority" complex, his criticism. This alternated with adoration and sweetness. It all was very subtle and I didn't realize the defense mechanisms that were developing in me to keep my marriage going, like believing he was right, that there were so many problems with me. This certainly wasn't the way it was at first. I was hooked in. I tried leaving twice in the marriage but I got hooked back into it. He used to say everyday, "We will be together forever", I mean it every day. His mother and his sisters really loved me, by the way. I had gone over there a few times but felt a bit of distance with his friends. I was "la Gringa". Then 3 years ago, he lost his job here and he went back to BsAs. We were going to start an import business there together. He would come back in a month or so and then we would go back and forth, together. We'll be together forever - his words to me again, when he left. Well, about a month later, he announced to me over the webcam, that he no longer loved me and was going to stay in Argentina. I asked, Who is she?". No, there's nobody, he said. I was devastated. It came totally out of the blue, in my mind. While he was in Argentina, I paid all the bills so I had all of his email passcodes and there I saw the evidence. He was definitely having wild affair with some Argentine woman . I basically never saw him again. This was after 15 years of marriage, and 18 years of being together. I am still reeling from it and not trusting myself now since I would allow myself to get involved with someone who could do this. I did have a warning early on from an American man, a writer, who had spent a lot of time in BsAs. He warned me, before we got married He said "Watch out. Those Argentine guys cheat like hell. I haven't met one who hasn't.". I just ignored him, knowing he was wrong. He wasn't. I wish I would have listened. Yes, there were good times, and i understand that many marriages do fall apart after time, but to do so in the cruel and cold manner which he did, was really just devastating.

 Cloe

Hi! Im here again:). So its been a pretty long time since I wrote something here,and I realized all you said about them were all TRUE. The guy that I was telling you HAS a girlfriend and yet he still talks to me like he is sooo single.The last time he talked to me he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend because she is jealous and all that.I didnt tend to be mean, but I didnt comfort him. Ha!. I realized that they are unfaithful to their girlfriends( I pity the girls) and feels like they are soo good-looking so they thnk there will always be girls who will chase them. I stopped talking to him and guess what, I received missed calls from him and also text messages UNTIL NOWW. He is a lil bit of annoying but I am enjoying it, because I want him to feel how I felt when he lied to me. And now, there are American guys who are courting me, but I refused to say yes. I want to give myself soe time to rewind. :D

Cloe

Well i am here again reading these comments. I think I have to expect less from him. Well as I read these comments it made me realize to think wisely.

Tracy Johnson


Hi Heather
I feel so sad that this happened to you - all that hope and pleasure at re-connecting is so painful to lose and it does make you feel super stupid. But please dont feel like an IDIOT. You were genuine and had the capability to love honestly - that is something to feel so proud of - Just give it to the right person next time. I have re-posted your comment to the blog so people will share. Lots of luck. Besos

Heather

Well, I got hooked again. I posted on here back in March about my situation and it turns out that 3 months after he broke up with me he was telling his friend that he missed me and he started to contact me again and like an IDIOT I fell for it thinking he might have changed and maybe he had actually cared for me all along. Boy was I wrong. It was worse than before. This time I suppose he only wanted to know I was still interested and available because he would make emotional contact and if I responded he would back off. Several times we were together but never any physical contact. So strange considering we were very intimate for almost a year. Like I said, he would pursue me and if I responded he would lose interest. Love is like a game for these assholes. The only possible thing you can do for your sanity is to cut them off completely. I had to block his phone number and all contact with him. So now, AGAIN, I am trying to move on with my life. Last mistake I make with him. And I wish you ladies would take these comments seriously, because they are so true.

Tracy Johnson

cloe the book is called Last Tango in Buenos Aires and is about the cross-cultural struggle in relationship between Argentine men and Foreign women. Its on www.Amazon.com printed or on Kindle. many Argentine men say that because the women are the way they are is why they behave this way. The issue I have with this is that they still behave the same with a foreign woman. We are like an exotic bird to them but then they get frustrated because they cant control our freedom

Cloe

Where can I get the book? Is it an actual book or I can read it on a website? YUP. I heard that Argentines most probably "MEN" are chamuyeros they are trying to have a sweet talk.But in my opinion Argentine men act like that because women there are also like that so maybe they got tired experiencing the same process,thats how women shaped them. Anyway, I learned a lot. I just hope really really hope not all of them are like that. But as of what i have read here,it made me think that they are just the same like everybody else,trying to be sweet when actually they are manipulators. What can we expect? They are Latinos.

Tracy Johnson


Cloe i think teenagers have as much responsibility to take care of themselves in love as older women - you are lucky that you have the benefit of our experience. If you read this blog and the comments - If you read the book "Last Tango in Buenos Aires" which is available on Amazon in print and on Kindle you will see how they work. They are very self centred and their life is about chasing and getting women to commit to them so they feel good. Imagine them literally as hunters of animals in the caveman days and you wont be far wrong. Argentines are especially bad in this as they have not been exposed to the cultural influences that we have - thy lived under a military junta and then economically strangled. Few foreigners went for a visit until 2002. Then you have to factor in the Italian descent - controlling mothers, desperate women who only want to make babies and have someone else pay the bills and think of the mafia - very resentful of others. I have noticed that the testosterone levels seem to be higher. They have a lot higher hormone levels than Anglo-SAxon men while this can be hot if you have a selfish man, it doesnt last long. Also there is a word in Argentina for their particular brand of compliments and seduction - Chamuyo - and the person who does it is a Chamuyero. Its BS

Cloe

Oh Tracy,I am appreciative of what youve said.I will not take seriously the things he is telling me.And of course,I dont want to be drown nor be trapped in his hands.I heard Argentine men are like snakes,they are betrayers.They only show their good sides when actually they are just covering up their rotten sides.I know its very impossible for a man to look for a woman who is far from him.This things were all mistakes that should be corrected now.And im sorry to hear your experience with your Argentine. Id rather be single than celebrate a Valentine Day with the person who i know is not for me. Thank you very much. But if you dont mind can you tell me further about it? I want to know more about it since i am just a teenager. THANK YOU :)

Tracy Johnson


Hi Chloe
If you read my most recent posts you might see how dangerous Sweet is. Its one of the lures of an Emotionally Unavailable guy to hook you in. Its part of their ego - everyone loves them and thinks theyre sweet but the woman who loves them sees a different person. But only once shes trapped. My recent sweet Argentine - the one who convinced me I was mistaken with the notes in this blog and the book that goes with it - who convinced me that you cant generalize and some people are different, who everyone thought adored me forever and was very sweet, vanished while I was at work taking $6000 of pro camera equiment, a gold watch and my new phone. How sweeet.
You are in canada and he is in Argentina? Hence you havent just met a man. Internet dating is fantasy dating until you meet a person face to face. Beware. Why is he looking for women 10,000 miles away - Unavailable.
Dont get hooked in. Read the other comments here if you dont believe me.

Cloe

Hey:) Ive met an Argentine man once,and ive been talking to him recently. I read a LOT of negative comments about Argentine men,and dont know if i should believe.This man is so different from what you girls said.He is sweet,so intimate,caring and passionate.I live in Canada ,so obviously we are far from each other.So we talk using yahoo. He sleeps late at night just to talk to me.This is my first time to experience such a wonderful guy,which a woman is dreaming of.I dont know if i should still continue this,i know i am experiencing great times with him as of now.But i dont what to get to the point that he'll leave me hanging in just a few seconds because of the hot girls who are hittin' him. I dont want to experience the pain that you girls had.I dont want to experience the pain i had before,but I want to try having an adventure with this guy. I am a teenager and I know if ever he'll leave or cheat on me there will be some wonderful guys who can offer me better things.But hearing what youve said,im scared that maybe that sweetness would not last as i think it would. I know not all of them are cheaters. Can someone give me an advice?

lisa

when they ask you to get married...always consider their motives. Most want their American citizenship, so they can come and go as they please. Be careful. I married one, was married 7 years and he was a mellow one, not like most of his friends. Although he was very proud, and anything Argentinian was the best, i asked him often why the heck he was in the US.... I guess everything happens for a reason. I feel like i've been let out of prison after 7 years.

Carlos

Well i´ve read some of the post here and theres a lot of angry women. I havent been out of argentina so i dont know how the men are in other places. But i can tell you that here women are dificult. (maybe they are like this in all places). Here, the ladies are really teasers... but the minute you show some interest, they know they are control and it´s all uphill from there.. so there is a bit of a lying game. Perhaps in other countries it´s all more sincere and if a girl likes you she just tell you. What im trying to say its that men in argentina are like that (all sweet in the begining and lyers in the end) because its the way women shaped us.

Sue There

Spent almost a year with an Argentinian bf: Daniel D. He is divorced and lives in Baltimore. He cheated on me pretty much the entire time...very charming, made me feel amazing, told me he loved me, but realized I wasn't the only woman he was sleeping with...lied to my face. Good in bed. But ladies of Charm City and DC, beware!! Take it for what it is. Let him buy you a malbec and dinner, sleep with him (safely), then vamanos and get on with your life!

anonymous

I recently came on this website out of sheer curiosity, and find that there is an entire army of fine females out there who have experienced what i thought was unique to me...i read now that i have been the victim of pure Argentine charm, and but for my naive and dreamy like ways of believing in truth and happiness, much of what I had experienced was nothing more than a dream. I dated an Argentine man for two years total. The first three months were bliss (and yes, he told me he loved me, swept me off my feet, the marriage word was used early), the next three for interesting; I was taken to BsAs to meet with the entire family, the friends, the "decision makers" in his home town. We are both expats for the time being. As a professional independent woman i had great difficulty relating to the home grown Argentine women associated with his friends. (Later I traveled to BsAs on my own and discovered many interesting and enterprising Argentine women); but the first trip and my impression of what it would be like to be married to this man came awfully short. He sensed it too. Though interestingly enough, I liked him very much, despite the warning signs. When he wasn't sure about me, he strived to ensure he would have me. The moment I decided to love him and be his, he pulled back and literally broke my heart into many tiny pieces.
Argentine men, as I have experienced, marry their own kind: meaning, Argentine females and preferably Catholic. They like to experience tons of other nationalities; it expands their appetite and cultural gusto. But for the real thing, they keep it at home.
To those ladies out there who are with Argentine men; there are no generalities per say. Though I wished, really wished, I had seen this blog before. It would have saved many nights of heartache... Then again, life is made up of various experiences, good and bad, and this too adds to the richness of my life...
One thing for sure: when it was good, it was fantastic; and when it was bad, it was pure pain. Learn from others and prepare yourself not to expect anything....thus, only seeking joy and experience, and maybe, there's always an exception, a loving partner....they are incredibly warm and loving when they choose to be.

heather

it's all true. every bit of it. i dated mine for 8 months and at first he was charming and made me feel so special like i was the only girl he was interested in. i was so in love with him. then, as time went on i found overly friendly messages from girls and he always lied about them saying they were just friends. anyway, to spare the details he was a definite ladies man and waited until he found someone better, or someone new, and he chose to be with her over me. i took care of him for 8 months while he had no car, bought things for his home and bought his dinner so many times. i gave him a choice and he chose her. when she found out he had a gf she stopped talking to him and he is right back trying to be with me. too bad he picked the wrong person to kiss his ass this time. they are all selfish liars. i read this way back when we first dated because i had some weird instincts about him, and i was like "maybe he is different".... he was not. be VERY cautious dating these guys.

lauren

Hi there,
My name is Lauren and I'm an author liaison at Spinetinglers Publishing, we've just published Liz Clancey's book - Senor Ramon.
I just thought you might like to know that we're currently running a competition on our website to win copies of the book - http://spinetinglers.co.uk/ReadNews215.aspx - all the details on how to enter are available on that link.
The book is also available to buy in our shop - http://www.spinetinglerspublishing.com/index.php?page=pdetail&id=156

Thanks!

Liza Clancey

I posted my last comment Feb. 19 last year. You said to let you know when my book came out - about a fictitious Argentinian man who is "emotionally unavailable" - a bit like the guys everyone on this website has encountered, but set about a 100 years ago - obviously not much has changed!

The book is "Senor Ramon" by Eliza Jane Clancey, and its on www.amazon.co.uk

Hope you like it!

suzy vegas

Another comment from a dissatisfied customer - Happynow, I'm glad you got away to be happy whereas most of the Argentine women just suck it up. It is the Mothers that ruin them - I dont know whether it's women's loathing and competition fully expressed for other women. Taxi drivers tell me it's the women who make the men the way they are.

Happynow

OH MY GOSH - I had to write because I cant believe how many of us have had the same experience. I married prince charming, and Argentine polo player 7 years ago. Had some great times, but the strange and abusive started pretty quickly after the wedding. First, his mother came to visit us for a month. She followed him everywhere he went, with his mate and even picked up horse crap when he told her too. Ironed his clothes and started to tell him that I was the worst wife (I worked full time, and no, did not iron his underwear..) - she then said that she would have to stay in order to make sure her son had proper care. Umm... NO - get out!!! - - The strange thing is hubby didnt stand up for me...she left, but with a promise from her son that he would make it up to her. 7 years later, and a two year old, he is living in Argentina with his mommy, lies about EVERYTHING and acts like its no big deal to just leave your family. He is abusive in his language and then pretents like he never called me the 3000 spanish curse words .....crazy crazy culture. Bad bad men. Prince Charming turned monster for me.

peh

damn, and there i thought: it was (just) me! hahaha. yep, drop dead pretty boys batting their gorgeous eyes making you feel like you are the most outstanding girl in the world with their just oh so damn soulmately special feelings for only you... seems to be the argentine standard routine with just about every girl. still miss it though. but as i was taught with a ton of charms: "never EVER trust an argentine guy!" amen.

Tracy Johnson

People often get mad (the men) saying that you cant make sweeping generalisations. The sad thing is about Argentine men you can and the only quetion is WHY are they like this? Lying is disrespectful to others and self but that all do it with a totally straight face. WHY? Why cant they just be honest and say what they want? Because they knowa woman wont accept it. I have a lover in Salta who told me I dont sleep with only one woman - I dont care because hes younger than me and I dont want Anything from him (fortunate as he has nothing to give and spends his life chasing women on Facebook) but the 25 year olds hes is accustomed to would have a meltdown. He told me they all just want to get married - is he having a laugh chasing them knowing he has no intention of marrying them?

laura

wow. i thought i was the only one.
mine wanted to marry me right away as well.
lavished attention like i never had before. ( i also never accepted it before.) so it was great. but then, he woudl go out to play music and drink with the guys and wouldnt come home. (Im from LA,CA he from BA)
he also ahd the big talk..huge1 but no action. all talk talk talk, Flattery flattery flattery, which undfortunaetly did get him far. I dont get how he could say so many things and then do nothing.
when it was good it was great and when it was bad it was horrible.
it wasnt' great to often. he also lied a LOT! a lot and could just look at me with a straight face on do it. how can they do this!?
i think mine has borderline personality disorder.
but other then that, if he wasnt a drunk, a liar, and a loser, he'd be perfect!ha

Tracy Johnson

Lucky - I am glad you were able to write it all down and know that it isnt you but something very strange about the Argentine culture that allows men to continue in this way.After these years of feeling frustrated, I have taken to laughing it off now. I know there will never be a special man for me in Argentina - not for life not even for a week. It would be utterly impossible to believe anything one said. They are childish mommas boys who are not brought up to engage in relating to a woman. Worse, it doesnt seem that the women will be requiring them to change any time soon as Free World women did in the womens Lib revolution of the 60s and 70s. Well done you for coming through it with laughter intact.

lucky

I dated an Argentine man for 1 and a half years and can only tell you my personal experience. At first he was very adoring and sweet, calling me all the time, wanting to come over to my house and spend time with me every night. He was pretty fast to tell me he loved me as well. I thought that he must be really crazy about me because he was always saying how other guys better not look at me when i go out and things like that. I see now that jealousy and insecurity are not the same things as true love and truly caring for someones wellbeing. When his family came to visit, i literally had to take a backseat. For my birthday, he picks me up with his brother and i ride in the backseat while they speak spanish and blare techno music...fun times!!!!! But like i was reading on this blog, the whole experience was a rollercoster ride, bad times with me feeling alone and empty and frustrated, punctuated by amazing times when i felt we were so intimate and together and soulmates. He could make me feel like the most beautiful amazing girl in the world and then the next minute he was off with his boss or his friends, no time to wait for me. He was very materialistic and put the most importance on his relationship with his boss who was his monetary lifeline. He came from a very poor village and success defined by him being able to show that you have money and drive a fancy car. But unlike some men who come from humble beginnings and become strong on their own, he always deferred to his boss or men who had money and would never dare speak a word of defiance against them. If it meant leaving me out of things, well then I was just left out and thats the way it was. I realized that even though he loved me in his immature, selfish way, i would always have to accept being second if i were to continue on in a relationship with him. He also was very moody, almost like a girl. And if at the end of the evening after working and cooking for him, if i was too tired to have sex, the words were never spoken but i felt tension coming from him and he was not as affectionate the next morning. I'm a very independent, strong women (i know it doesn't sound like it from this blog) who saw myself slowly change into something that wasn't me. Always trying to please him and becoming frustrated and unhappy when that didn't seem to be happening. He would break up with me after every arguement and the last time that happened i stopped calling him or texting him (like he was used to) and then he texted me telling me he misses me and wants me back. Then one week later another argument and he breaks up with me again. Well I am on my own now, still full of pain and heartache, but something irreversible has happened in my heart and i know i can never love and trust him again. I do believe i am on the path to healing and regaining myself. I definitely feel that his culture and the way he was brought up played an important factor in the way he treated me and viewed our relationship. I feel I am lucky to be out of this up and down ride and my heart feels lighter and i feel i am getting my laughter and voice back. It feels amazing just to write all this down....

Tracy Johnson


Hey Liz
Congratulations. Post a new comment when the book is published and Ill give everyone a heads up - Loads of people would love to read it. besos


www.tracyjohnsonphoto.com
www.lasttangoinbuenosaires.com


ELIZABETH CLANCEY

Hi Everybody,

I've just been reading all your comments. I just wrote a book about an Argentinian man - a novel, pure fiction, and strange!! my "hero" is just like all these real men you've encountered, emotionally unavailable and cheats on his wife - however, I didn't assume that his behaviour was typically Argentinian just typically male!

I've never even been to Argentina -I think these types exist all over the Planet! Just watch out for them girls, wherever you go! If a man is too handsome, he gets away with behaving badly!

My book is not published yet but it will be soon, in about 6 weeks perhaps, by Spinetinglers publishing, and it's called "Senor Ramon". (Yes, sorry I am plugging my book, just a little, but it's a good read, and I also thought I should advise you it's the same in Greece, Italy, France, or anywhere they can get away with it!)

Liz Clancey

kaylee

i have been dating an argentinian guy now for about 6 months. After reading some of the other posts, i agree these guys move fast. Honestly, my guy was telling me that he loves me within the first week! at first i have to admit that i did think it was strange. but when i thought about it, we definately had a connection that was unexplainable. we did not meet in the conventional way, but rather more commonly these days which was on the internet. He lives in buenos aires and i live in america. so after talking for about a month every single night, i decided to take a trip to see him. We talked every night for 4 1/2 months, texted each other all day, emailed each other at least twice a day. Finally, the trip came. It was honestly one of the best times i have ever had in my life. He was awesome in every way. My connection with him is so strong. He did introduce me to his entire family, his two little girls, and already is asking me to marry him. I'm blonde, thin, average height, very typical american woman - yes, i am successful too. He did have a great job, etc. but went through a rough time with the economic crisis crash and quit his job, lost his apartment and is now starting over. He is a hard worker though...very determined. Honestly, he's perfect for me. He's a great father - very involved with his girls. He's into art, philosophy, history. We can literally talk about everything and the conversation never gets boring....and that's just the mental connection. the emotional connection is so strong too - we literally can feel each other when something is wrong. I know this sounds strange but we can. and the physical attraction....OMG! He's gorgeous - green eyes, almost black hair, nice body....he drives me crazy. He is 9 years younger than me but he doesn't seem to care at all about the age! Actually, every one seemed to comment about how great looking we are as a couple while i was in argentina. Honestly, we do look great together :). Anyway, i am really in love with this guy!! He is planning a trip here in july. He asks me to marry him every day. I am so in love with him. I don't know....maybe my argie is different? I think there are some good ones out there. I know i'm lucky, he is great!!

a

Yes, It is a sickness but I totaly set rules down from the begining about playing games. But thats all it seems we did. You don't even realize you are doing it. You get so cought up in it and you think you have it under control. I always felt like I had to lift him up and tell him his qualities. It worked for a minute, but then same thing again here there.
Then when he went back he says he missed me and that he was sorry for how he treated me here in the U.S. That he had to finish up some things at home in BA before we got married. I guess he got comfortable in his hometown. He never invited me to meet his parents and he didn't even tell them about me until he moved back. Everything was so sneaky. I couldn't stand it. It drove me nuts. Huge clues. I told him to come here then he says: I can't anytime soon. He says "do whatever you want to do" after 2 years. I felt he broke me into pieces.
I sent him an email even after because I expected him to reply and he didn't. But girls i'm so happy he hasnt and I dont want him too!! He is doing me a favor. Praise god!! God knows what is best. I mean trust me it has been very hard but time will heal my heart. I have my child to raise and teach morals too. Not a grown man. It becomes like a habit a really bad one. I mean it was like he lives for the world of everyone else and not for his heart and what he feels. He always would victamize himself indirectly. To me its sad because it was my ignorance that allowed me to continue the cycle. If you allow them to continue to play with you. They will.
Whoever said to run. RUN Girls!! They will make you so mentally unstable, because you get cought up in the game. U think you got it under control then he does the same thing to you like a child. However, a child is a child and a man knows. I thought he would find himself. I did it because of love, not for the game. I never in my life had a connection with someone like this. I mean I felt him, his thoughts, if he was sad, i could feel his heart and it wasn't the sex. If one doesn't know who they are. They look for other ways to make them feel better like playing. That is what makes them weak and the sad part is it sounds like they all do the same thing and its normal for them. I mean they must feel really guilty inside. They must feel something. Thats why they lie and cheat and play games. They act out what they are feeling. I don't know. I can go on and on. Its a lot of work with these men from Argentina.

suzy vegas

I think the first response to this post from Carlos in juxtaposition to the last two posts from hurting women says it all.
This behaviour is an inbuilt cultural nature that has been inscribed through Argentina's history. Brazilians are not like this. CHileans are not like this.
The hotel owner - a mature Argentine woman doesn't think it will change. They see women as trophies - to be used - and they dont even have to be wealthy to do it.
I think the pain and the difficulty in getting over it is from the drop. They build you up a lot at the beginning and the idea that it vanishes in a flash is hard to justify. Loss of love is very hard for a woman.
They also don't let you go with dignity - keeping you hanging on with hopes and mails is just cruel and immoral.

Wheezie you have to decide on what you are prepared to endure. If you are happy just to have 'great sex' (unusual for an Argentine man) and don't mind playing the endless retreat game (which he will get tired of when someone else appears) then do it. I thought I could do it but it hurt more. If you have deep feelings, he shallow acting out will not fulfill your needs.

a

I dated an Argentine man for two years and it was a ride up and down. It was the worst I am still getting over it we just broke up 1 month ago and he went back to Argentina 6 months ago and started notemailing me then making excuses for everything . I always told him do not make excuses. Im not on that, but its seems like everyone has the same issues there. I really thought I would marry him and I was so in love with him. he lied about the dumb things then when he was in Chicago he moves in with friends he was working with mind you these friends where woman. So much drama, I thought I saw strong qualities and morals. I dont think his mom would have liked me anyway, im a single parent and i'm a mexican Amercian. Argtenian don't enjoy Mexicans because we do not have the European history as they do. WHATEVER!! I really do love him. It was so much work all the time with him I think the woman and men their might have insecurity issues. I was always like why do you always have to worry about what others think like who cares. I don't know what his issue was but he was so easily influenced into temptation and he was weak. When I read about this issues they all have psycho issues. Like I felt like I always had to read his mind. Thats just to much work for me. Keep it real or bounce. I always felt he has a tender heart. Or maybe not :-(

Wheezie

Oh my gosh Suzy, how did I let myself get into this situation. I think that I would have ran fast if I hadn't fallen in love with his 2 year old son too. I am a smart, beautiful woman that has a big hook in my mouth. But even though I have done everything for him, I have still been able to maintain some mystery to him--at least I think so. I have continued to keep him guessing. I have never said I loved him, have told him that I wasn't sure what I wanted either. Yes, I gave in to the culo, but because I LIKE it too--not just for him. I am in my prime and enjoy sex for me too. He loves the fact that I do love it too--he had sex issues in his marriage (they were Mormon, and didn't have sex before marriage--which he told me that if they had slept together first, he never would have married her because it was soooo bad). He tells me that I am the best he has ever had--and the confident me knows that is true!! I am older and more experienced. So Im not sure that he has quite figured me out either--he always says that I can have many men that are better than him (which I know--because I have dated many very handsome sucessful men). I am an independant older woman that has her own life too. But he does know that I love sex with him--our chemistry is amazing and honestly I would be completely satisfied the rest of my life.
So do you think that I should pull way back, make him chase me again and see what happens? Or like you said, will I "re-live the same heartache as he recycles through the same pattern?"
He has lived in the US for 11 years--since he was 20. So he is quite Americanized. I have tried to break free from him several times--telling him that "when he figured out what he wants in life and if it includes me, than to give me a call." But that lasts about 3 hours and I get emails and texts from him.
And I give in again. :( What to do, what to do. You definitley enlighten me on this subject. My friends roommate is about 55 years old and from B.A. She said that "he will marry the woman that doesn't sleep with him" But he already did that and ended up divorced. I don't think he would make that mistake again. I just don't want to be surprised when he comes home in 2 months and tells me that he is bringing a girl home to marry... OUCH.Is that even possible these days?? That could take years right? So confused about this...like I said--how did I get myself into this? What is better being the wife or the mistress? Unfortunatly his idol is Maradona--who I know has many many women and a wife--but he also has money to back that up--my guy doesn't.

suzy vegas

Wheezie I have commented in today's post on your situation. Get yourself to a place where you can build up some self esteem (Seducers are great at tearing it down). You dont have to live up to anything and remember that doing everyTHING for a man only shows him you are desperate (It's his way of viewing things - remember they dont see love as we do)

I know the feeling of being reeled into the trap and getting hooked. I have cut contact for over two months but if I see him somewhere I still get that old feeling and reckon I could turn into a stalker if I let myself.

Remember the Argentine wife at home does everyTHING while the mistress has the best of him and is FUN. Which do you want to be?

Wheezie

I have been dating an Argentine man for 2 years. He was recently divorced, and told me he wasn't ready to get serious. But here we are 2 years later...I did catch him cheating once, don't know if it was the only time. I have done EveryTHING for him and his son, and can't see why he doesn't see what a great catch I am. I am sad right now because he has gone back to Argentina for 3 months to see his family, and I am worried that he is over there to find a wife. Not sure if Im being paranoid, but we will see.
He definitely has the same narcassitic attitude talked about here--his country, his soccer team, his friends back home are the best. So I am always feeling like I can't meet up to his standards. Although, I have dated many guys with more to offer me, and he has NOTHING. He is poor and doesn't have the money to wine and dine me, which I have never cared about as long as he loved me. But Im sure the women in Argentina think he is wonderful because he lives in the US now, and played professional soccer for 4 years. Great lover yes, great boyfriend???- NO. Not sure what to do--but I am hooked on him and feel like he has reeled me into his trap. Help people--do Argentine men like American women better than Argentine women???? This is something I need to know, so I can rest my mind.

Suzy vegad

Monique think about it - if you were at home would it be normal for a man to ask to msrry you after a month. They are ALL the same - rush you inot it and as soon as you agree they run.
I may be wrong in your case - If I am then what's the rush? Put the breaks on - slow him down more and more, It will only nake him want you more but it will also give him the chance to see you really

monique

I have been talking to an Argentine guy for a month. He's cute,funny,kind and very adventureous and passionate! He's always telling me that I am the and he just recently asked me to marry him. I believe that he's moving to fast and that we need time to get to know each other more. This is my first experience with an Argentine man and I really need some advice!!!!

mon

oh PS...this argentine idoit Mother's was born in Urguay but he was born in Argentina. He considered himself to be Argentinen so much that he had a big complex about it, he was forever commenting that one's nationality is from the country they were born and not that of the parents.....yeah ok we got it!! Loser! Take care of latin men in general, big time deceiver's in all ways possible they can lie to your face with a sincere look in their's, take precautions if something doesn't feel right go with your gut instincts run, run far away, as far as I'm concerned the idoit I was with is a dodgy ex druggie, fell mouthed, complexed abuser, goes beyound been macho. Just as well Argentina have more to it than this type of creature, the cultural and history aspect of Argentina out ways this idoit.

mon

yes they are narcisstic having lived with one for nearly a year, only he was the abusive kind as well, loved himself, lacked sensuality and passion BIG TIME, but oh how he talked himself up and the country, I myself am from another latin american country of european decent, but all this doesn't matter in the end what matter's is the person still frankly from what I experienced and know of argentinen men I will never ever be with one again!!! Big talker, big idoit!! Unless one proves me otherwise...but I have no desire to try again anyway..

gastonsgirl

My Argentinian man is not stuck on himself at all. Though he has good reason to be. He's drop dead gorgeous, and soooo sweet.

Mel

I've only been in Argentina 2 weeks and I've already begun learning this lesson...

carlos casco

yes, so what! : )

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