Waco in the Delta

There is a lot of fakery going on in Buenos Aires these days. Firstly the expats acting the nouveau-hippie lifestyle, cooking the potato diet on a camping stove and indulging in 'monogamy-free' days and then the Porteno hippies who have recently discovered dreadlocks and global warming (without allowing this to interfere with their ingrained love of plastic).

I especially love it when a man starts wafting on about how there are no stereotypes and we are all individuals - There's never too long to wait before some predicatable behaviour ensues. A case in point -  our trip to the Tigre Delta this Easter weekend to write an article on the 'Eco-Village'  in progress.

Despite the leaflets being vigorously distributed at the port regarding management of Dengue Fever, the 'Village' consisted of one rickety house on stilts surrounded by 50m of jungle and one terrifyingly turgid trough of water - a pit in the ground. The 'Eco-Warrior' was cooking at his stove when we arrived and put our supplies in his ancient fridge-freezer which must have been blowing out enough CFCs for a small Asian nation.

He stopped and informed us that he would take us to the almacen where we could buy supplies. He proceeded to order massive plastic containers of water, massive plastic containers of cooking oil and massive plastic containers of Bleach then looked at us with limpid eyes when the bill was presented. As one of us rummaged for money (obviously not me), he proceeded to order beers that were quickly added to the bill.

Soon his disciple, B., appeared and more beers were ordered while the Warrior regaled us with tales of his 10-year journey with his 'Village' and how it was soon going to become a sanctuary when the Global Economic Crisis finally hits Argentina later this year. 'You cannot imagine how many riots there will be in the streets'. He soon switched to more invigorating tales of his many Portena friends and how they spend each day at the office planning some teatime assignation before going home to their Husband; 'Taxi drivers, bus drivers, pizza delivery boys - One told me, "do you know the best orgasm I had in my life was with the portero in my sick aunt's building" '. 

'There are four more beers to be paid for. B. go pay for the beers'. Off trotted the disciple to pay his tab and on the walk back to the 'Village' she grabbed me. 'He's trying to figure out which one of you he's going to sleep with', she muttered as though he was about to get out his machete for more than the foliage surrounding the village. 'He sleeps with every single woman that comes here.' The Eco-Retreat as Love Shack then. B. was looking quite wild-eyed and desperate to escape after a month in the jungle.

'He tells me he quite likes it that I'm fat as it means he can have me all to himself'. Was she quite proud of this?  She was refusing to indulge him any more as he told her right after sleeping with her the first time that he had a woman in the city he was madly in love with. However, there is only one bed in the Love Shack. 'Every night in bed, he tells me; 'No tenes ninguno idea cuanto te quiero'.

Later that night he decided which one of us was to be graced with his election for a Rapidito. Personally I don't care to sully myself with the village tart but I cannot speak for others. Beware the atorrante.

 

Comments

[Clara]

Hi!
I'm a couchsurfer and i want to travel to Buenos Aires in two months. I am in contact with this guy (leonardo) and he seems nice but for what you say he is not.
Do you recommend me going there? Or I should look for someone else?

[Zoe]

Dear Suzy,
Haha it sounds awful! By the way I have recently discovered your blog and have been reading my way through the archives, I love your writing style but I'm sad to see you are getting tired of living in BsAs... I am moving there in September for a short while if all goes to plan... I don't know that I'm staying long enough to get sick of it, I hope not! Anyway keep up the writing, I am really enjoying it :)
Best
Zoe

[Suzy]

I think I have written about my experience staying there in this post - What are you lacking. I Dont see it as a project, it certainly isnt ecologically sound. Its one guy using couchsurfers for free labour, groceries and sex

[Eli]

Did you stay? Can you please write about your experience with the project? What did you think?