Emotionally Unavailable Men and Women

I have been ensconced in a converted barn in the Black Mountains of Wales finishing up the first draft of 'Men With Axes' - a lonely endeavour but thankfully my barn is surrounded by lovelorn sheep and fronted by a tiny, ancient pub full of bluff Welsh farmers at all hours of the day or night and not a fanta in sight.

I am thankful to all the wonderful women who have sent me their (horror) stories. Many have been incorporated into the novel/script (more on that) as illumination for others.

I now really believe that in reality EUMs do not exist and that as women it is entirely within our power to manage our love lives effectively. First, to backtrack, EUMs do exsist but we know who they are when we meet them. The problem we have is that we seek to adapt and manoeuvre the male instead of accepting - ergo desperation. If we accepted out fabulousness and moved on from men that were not working for us instead of desperately clinging on, hoping and begging that it will work against all odds, we would be a great deal happier.

Hopefully the book will inspire women to stick together anf have more fun as they try on their various men for size. Really - dating as many men as possible is the way to go. You don't go into TopShop without trying on ten different outfirs and asking your girlfriends how they fit - dating is just a shopping expedition.

Comments

[Arlene]

I think we create our horror stories. We all know when something or someone isn't right, yet we still stick with it regardless or until we can't take it anymore. I think it is our arrogance (desperation)in thinking something will change if we just to this or that thing.
Why we do this to ourselves is a very important question to ask.
You are right about us having choices. We all have a choice, even if it is only a split second in which to make it.
I am soooo glad that I have started making the right choices.
I look forward to the book. Good luck with it.

[Suzy Vegas]

Thank you Arlene
This is something I keep turning over and over in my mind. Cultural icons like 'Bridget Jones' and 'Sex and the City' claim to answer this problem sying that we need to have a support group around us to replace our dependence on men and yet those women are also desperately hunting for men.
I amnot opposed to love in any way - only to settling or suffering. Lets be frank - not everyone in the world is going to find their soulmate - so what would you do instead?

[Arlene]

Ah Suzy,
You live your life to the full is what you do, and you look after yourself. Make everyone who leaves your company feel better than before they were in it.
Dance!
How's that for starters?

[bim]

Hope 'Man with Axes' is going well and you're having a good time in the barn next to the pub.