'Love' and the Passionate Argentine Man

In response to a commenter who asked me for advice about her intense and passionate new relationship with an Argentine man,I can only humbly offer the following based on mountains of (sometimes painful) research.

As with most things in life, there can be a dark side to love. Where love is not about two people gradually learning to share experience and friendship that is wrapped up in sexual joy. It is based on an emptiness inside that makes the lover seek out others to fill his void.

To cover this void from the outside world, these men are usually very seductive charmers. Somewhere in the 17th Century, men turned into coquettes (witness the fashion of the time) and learned that women are seduced by words and that their need for flattery and to feel superior to the women around them is innate. The legends of Don Juan and Casanova were born and we still believe in that image of the Latin lover. Every extranajera I know has succumbed to the passion of the macho but it is all based on words and flattery- meaningless.

Hence they have to seduce you quickly before you realise just how meaningless. Before they themselves realise just how meaningless and move on to the next. This is how you become the Sun, Moon and Stars, their Heaven, their Life. You want to believe it. Hollywood has coerced us into the dream of instant Happy Ever After and follows Mother Nature in appealing to our vanity. But a love that instant cannot be real. What is is based on? When I asked the BD how come he loved me so much when he hardly knew me he mentioned my beauty and Because I am English. There's a lifelong committment for you. What happens when the next English tourist comes along? There are more and more of them in Salta every season.

The only way to know for sure is to put the brakes on and keep putting them on in the face of intense pressure to submit. A thing easily won is easily spurned. Maybe he is the Special One but if he is, what's the rush? It may be flattering but deep inside you know it isn't based on any real appreciation of you as a person - it's nothing but a Pygmalion illusion.

Comments

[Gareth Leonard]

This is such a great post.. I actually just wrote a piece myself about passion and the people of Buenos Aires.

http://www.tourist2townie.com/

Keep up the great work! I really enjoy reading your posts.

Would you like to Blog Roll?

Best Regards,

Gareth Leonard
gleo30@yahoo.com

[MissX]

I must be rather narcissistic, but I love flattery. It´s probably due to poor early childhood developement, anyway I´d rather like the phoney compliments. 2010 may be my year to travel to Argentina, jeje.. Hope you have a great New Year!!!!!!!!!!

[depression medication]

some people are romantically born and some are just playing for love.

[Arlene]

As they say, easy come, easy go!