I am going to resist all those summing up articles that are deemed necessary at this unreal point in time, along with resolutions and fad diets and instead mentiopn a couple of comments received today on the feed.
One said she must be rather narcissitic as she enjoyed the flattery and may need to make a trip to Argentina in '10. Firstly no worries on that score - true narcissists have no idea they are so self-absorbed. Second - the flattery is great for the ego and for re-building any self-esteem or confidence lost after a break up. So yeah baby, come on down. The problem is that seducers are well practised and aren't going to let you get away with having your ego pumped - They want something in return. And the heavy seduction kicks in, which soon leads to pain.
The second commenter was clearly distressed, saying she felt she had been hooked in, was unable to break free from a man she knew deep down did not deserve her and wanted to know whether Argentine men prefer Americans over Argentines. (My experience is they much prefer English over Americans but then they would say that to me). It's the topic I address in my novel, the problem of relating from different cultures. Yes they are fascinated by the foreigness of us and more importantly, as a psychiatrist once told me, independence, like other enviable characteristics, is something to be possessed and destroyed. I've got a couple of female EX friends in Buenos Aires who are testament to this.
So the fascination soon wears off and they start trying to dominate and remove the freedom they initially found so seductive. One sign is that he suddenly attempts culo sex (if he hadn't already). All I can say to my unhappy commenter is that once a man cools it is virtually impossible to get him back to that state that seduced you in the first place, that of intense attention and adoration, unless you in turn cool off and offer him a subtle reason to chase you again. It does work but you will re-live the same heartache as he recycles through the same pattern.
I say withdraw before he hurts you even more. It becomes harder each time, like a wheel sinking deeper into a rut. And do like my first commenter - Try to let some flattery from others soothe your pain.
LOVE (like you've never known pain) and DANCE. Happy 2010 to everyone
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