The Men - or 'Oh Dear, You're Dating an Argentine'

It's quite amusing how many men comment with vitriol in response to posts about the Argentine man, never considering that every woman is saying exactly the same thing, be she extranjera or Argentine. Adapt to our culture, they say, not bothering to notice even Argentines hate their culture. When you fall in love, Argentine women commiserate with you. They know what will inevitably come to pass. I know numerous Portenas in their twenties who simply do not date any more - Tired of being used as sex slaves. It's worse to be used that way after a bunch of lies you have gradually started to believe. But then the men and the wise old taxi drivers say they are not the histericos - the histerica Argentine woman made them behave that way.

So it's a case of which came first - the histerico chicken or the histerica egg? Either way, it's a drag for a lot of people. Women hate being hurt and unable to trust. Men aren't getting all the sex they could have if they only changed their attitudes. 'We are not all the same' they scream, before continuing to demonstrate their culturally typical behaviour. They're called cliches for a reason. And in case you were wondering, they are worse, much much worse in the North. At least in BsAs they have been exposed to some independent women - either foreign or locally purchased with Papi's credit card. Here they are treated as kitchen slaves, every one.

I have one English friend in Buenos Aires who has had a lovely Argentine man for the last 15 years but then he couldn't get out of Argentina fast enough and has always lived abroad. The only chance is if they have been exposed to foreign culture and also learned to adapt to it. I also have a Swedish friend who married an Argie in Stockholm and he was marvellous. When they moved here, he instantly reverted to type and she divorced him. Maybe it's in the soil.

I have noticed that the men call you Loca when you object to shabby treatment - making it all your fault and not owning any responsibility. And now they have developed a new strategy for dealing with independence - They give you their number and tell you to call them. Patetico. They have now aborted all responsibility and possibility for rejection and if you do call them, beware! It means you are desperate and gagging for it.

Comments

[JAVIER]

HI,
PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, PEOPLE ARE NOT THE SAME EVERYWHERE, THE ARGENTINE CULTURE CAN BE BAD, AND MANY OF THEM HAVE REALLY A BAD EDUCATION, BUT THERE ARE ALSO VERY WELL EDUCATED , WITH GOOD VALUES, ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE SOCIETY.I THINK THIS IS EVERYWHERE DEPENDING ON WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE YOU GET RELATED TO. IN MY CASE..BORN IN ARGENTINA WITH EUROPEAN CULTURE FROM MY GRANDPARENTS , LIVED MORE THAN TEN YEARS IN USA AND LEARNED THE NEW CULTURE VERY EASY, NOT EVEN TALKED IN SPANISH IN AN AREA LIKE NC, JUST BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IN HOME. CAME BACK TO ARGENTINA FOR A MISTAKE AND FELT LIKE A STRANGER...NOW NEED TO GO BACK TO THE STATES... NOT SURE IF THIS HAPPENED TO SOMEBODY ELSE...BUT MISS MY FRIENDS AND THE WAY AMERICAN WOMEN ARE...SO LOVELY AND FEMININE!!!!
SO, I WANT TO DATE AN AMERICAN WOMAN AGAIN AND HAVE A FAMILY WITH HER

[Tracy Johnson]

Ce - I think that perhaps not all of us are available in BsAs to chat - thats why we meet here.
Sure there is a difference between a booty call and - whats the word for it? - a relationship that starts with sex.
The point is that there are enormous differences between men in the west and here (and women). Thats why they say you are too easy - they think that you have probably donked every guy that approaches you in a bar. If they are going to give a woman respect, they expect her to respect herself. If she doesnt, they split. Here they dont. you can have a relationship with a man but that man is anyway always going to behave like a macho. As My Mate JC said the other day - Im having fun but I would never try to enter into a real relationship with a guy in Argentina.

[ce]

well, that's not what i meant...i'm not ok with that
if all of you want to meet and discuss about argentine men let me know!

[none ya]

It's all good! You can call it what you want. It's ur body and you can do what you want. But that is what we call a booty call. It's the game! They get you for a night and then they continue to call. But for a booty call. Some people are ok with that.

[Tracy Johnson]

I can see both sides of this discussion. After all we did fight for liberation in part for the right to chooseand have autonomy over our bodies. And it has been my experience than an Argentine will stilllike you if you sleep with him the first night - why wouldnt he - you have just shown you are going to give him whatever he wants when he wants it.
Endless research (professional and personal) demonstrates that a man will not respect a woman who is not aprize in his mind. Hence the trick of keeping themrunning - that works!
As for needing sex - well forunately in the UK we have Anne Summers. Why would you need to sleep with a man you know nothing about? Women doing this has created the lack of soul in love relationships now and rendered them meaningless quests for physical indulgence.

[ce]

none ya: i think you don't get what i was trying to say. english is not my first language so i'm sort of lost in translation here
when i said "be free" i mean have the FREEDOM to CHOOSE, if you WANT or DON'T want to have sex right away, and not be punished when you don't play the stupid and sexist game called: "if i say no he will take me serious,and bla bla bla".
maybe i'm confortable with him and i want to say yes.

[none ya]

Serously have some pride and love yourself. Like I can't believe you said its free and its ok! I don't know you but if you where my friend I would tell you u have a huge problem. Like, yeah have fun but man how u gonna throw urself out there girl!

[ce]

I'm an argentinian woman in my thirties..single and dating...
i don't agree with this idea "Tired of being used as sex slaves", as machista as this country is, most of us women live our sex lives very freely, unless you meet someone from Opus Dei or something like that.
I dated an english man and an american and they were full of the same lies too..and worst: both of them (open minded-well educated men) told me that i was "too easy"!!!. an argentine man won't mind if you have sex with him the first date. it will be ok and natural. the "easy" word will never cross his mind.
and if he likes you he will still like you even if you have sex with him before telling your name.
so you can be free

[Tracy Johnson]

I have to admit to secretly agreeing with Davie. It is SO unfortunate but the majority of a culture can betotally venal. But along with culture goes history - A nation that can sit back and wait while its own government kills 30 thousand of their neighbours - What does that say? Not surprising they harboured Nazis

[Davie]

> Maybe it's in the soil.

That's one way of putting it, but in reality it's all about culture. I've been in Argentina almost 3 years, and am now trapped here because I want to see my son grow up. I've been robbed more than 20 times (burgled/mugged/pick-pocketed) and I'm yet to meet an Argentinian of either sex that isn't a racist, lying, cheating, sexist cvnt. I have a lot of experience of different cultures around the world, including European, African, Middle Eastern, North and South American and I can safely say that Argentinian culture is the lowest and most despicable in the world.

[XS]

can't agree more and am thinking getting out quick!!!

[Alex]

Wow. Kinda makes me ashamed to be a man amongst the chaff of men. Nah.

But really, wow. That sure is some fucked-up-ed-ness.

Keep yourself clear of it darlin'.

[MissX]

It´s a shame that there are so many people so stereotypical. It really gives the rest of the Argentines a bad name. I am hopeful that this cultural trait that you so rightly point out, has some sort of functionality within the Argentine society.
I`ve never been to Argentina and thus cannot contradict you, however I have wonderful friends in Spain and Canada who are of Argentine birth and do not hold these ideals. Perhaps it´s as you say, It´s an adaptive trait only found within the country. At any rate, its´the Argentines who will have to decide if that type of machista behaviour goes down with them. Great blog by the way!