Last Tango in Buenos Aires

Argentine Men versus Women (Chicken or Egg?)

An interesting comment from an Argentine man is re-posted below. I've heard from a number of men (including various taxi drivers who can always be counted on for an opinion or thirty) that it's the women in Argentina who make the men the way they are. Obviously I can't express a personal opinion here as I don't date women but I have found friendships with them are not the same as they are with English/American women. Some might say that's the typical Gringa versus Latina culture clash.

Men have said that the women aren't companions and friends, you can't share much with them, they think only of a fat wallet and being looked after, of getting married and having someone else pay the bills. Nothing you do for them is ever enough, they moan and bitch and want more.If you love them they think you're a cissy and look for a macho to battle with, or play games as Carlos says.

I sat in the kitchen making cocktails while a man cooked me dinner - No one had ever before chatted and kept him company while he cooked, he said. I explained that it's culturally typical to share the cooking while talking about your day, but then it's normal for Gringo couples to share many more things together than is usual here. If we're going to be in a relationship then we want to share experiences, otherwise it's easier to be single.

Here's a word from Carlos -

Well i´ve read some of the post here and theres a lot of angry women. I havent been out of argentina so i dont know how the men are in other places. But i can tell you that here women are dificult. (maybe they are like this in all places). Here, the ladies are really teasers... but the minute you show some interest, they know they are control and it´s all uphill from there.. so there is a bit of a lying game. Perhaps in other countries it´s all more sincere and if a girl likes you she just tell you. What im trying to say its that men in argentina are like that (all sweet in the begining and lyers in the end) because its the way women shaped us.

Facades Argentina

Now it's all starting to come into focus. The beautiful French buildings downtown disguise a city that's got too many problems to count. Even the customs officials told me today 'Why on earth would you stay here?' It's a theme I keep hearing when what I am hoping to hear is someone who isn't a tourist - who actually lives here and deals with the place - tell me it's all going to be OK. Maybe I just want my Mother. But everything is a lie and I hate lies.

The people kiss each other and appear to be so polite but it disguises a seething with jealousy mass of snakes in the grass who will rip you to shreds as soon as your back is turned. All that intellectual chit chat in the confiteria is what is commonly known as bitching or maybe just chisme - gossip. Yes there are some sweet people - like the women who work in the immobilaria - estate agency where I go to pay my rent - but they are nice because they are scared. Scared shitless of the nutters who will attack you for waking them up on a Saturday night even though they live on Plaza Serrano.

And then apparently, every antique in San Telmo is a fake. Despite those hilarious prices. The Delivery Boy's father used to make antiques that were authenticated and sold at auction by Christies. They make art deco pieces for the famous stores in San Telmo. They sell their furniture as antique. I have struggled with the concept of his relationship with the truth. On one hand if you are used by western World types coming here and paying you 500 pesos for a piece that they then charge $12,000 for in NY, it's understandable that you will feel resentful. But then talent will out and if you can make something special isn't it better for that talent to be recognised as yours rather than some dead guy who lived in the 1920s.

I mean if you have the caveman-like ability to go out into the campo and kill an animal then take its shin bone and carve handles that can fool an international art house, shouldn't you have some recognition. Or is it just fun fooling the people, some of the time?

What Does She Want?

Our bubble was burst on Saturday night with the intrusion of the phone on the dot of 11 o'clock. 'You need to be home. Your baby is screaming. "Papy, Papy, I want Papy". She can't sleep without you here'.

And on and on it went. And I stood in my own kitchen with this intruder on the phone making the Delivery Boy squirm as he tried to sedate her. He has made his pact. If he is not home by 11 every single night, his baby will be pinched awake until he returns.

Why is she doing this? What does she WANT? If every human being in the universe sat down and rationally asked themselves this question at the fundamental level,we would soon be rid of games and war. What DOES she want? She doesn't love him so she doesn't want him home to hold in her arms while she talks about her day. And even if she did, he doesn't love her and what woman wants a man who doesn't love her? 

Argentine women validate themselves with a man. She is living within the lie of convenient fiction - 'I have a man and a child therefore I am worthwhile'. So she has what she wants. He has made his pact to live the convenient fiction of the nuclear family. He has compromised what he and I have in order to keep his baby secure. She has what she WANTS but she still needs to torture him and her child to satisfy her ego desires.

What she wants now is cable TV and a washing machine. If he gives her those will she get off the phone?